This is another interesting piece from Charles Oputa, popularly known as Charly Boy. Please sit back and enjoy:
Wanting so badly to get hooked is something many people seem to take far too lightly and for granted these days. Something some of them feel they should do to win acceptance from people and society. These days’ people look at the package and never the content, forgetting that marriage should be a life time commitment of two strangers. In some cases the marriage may workout, like, Charles and Diane, Tunde and Wummie. But most of the time it falls like a park of cards, because as people are rushing to get in, people are rushing to get out, at an alarming rate. Kai!!
These days break ups and divorce has become the trend as soon as the honey Moon is over. People use to think that divorce rate is only high amongst celebrities, but now, across board, couples are falling asunder, going under the pressure of a very bad decision , just because they Must Marry.
In these hard times, people are blowing and burning pots of money on very fancy weddings that really don't last after the honey moon. In this age, some parents still pressure their daughters in getting married early. It's like, once your girl crosses the 30yrs bracket, they start to panic, getting anxious and putting pressure on their girl to get married, like it is that easy. She just can't go to the market and buy a husband, or can she? When the poor girl insists on finding her dream man, she is accused of being unserious. Parents please learn to back off joor, it's not by force. After all, are they the ones who will leave with the spouse?
There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right person, because if it is the razzmatazz of the wedding things that you enjoy, go ahead and throw yourself a big nonstop party for a whole week. After all, weddings are just one day event, but a marriage is supposed to be a life time thing. I know that weddings are fun, romantic and you can finally tell your girlfriends, boyfriends or your sugar daddy's that you have finally captured your own ‘mugu’. But has this guy been tried and tested? Dating and courting is a different matter from ‘Till Death Do You Part’. Living with one human being for the rest of your life. My sister look the thing well oooo. Bebe, do you have an idea how your guy functions in rough weather? When reality bites, is he calm or does he freak out? Do you share the same interest in some things? Bebe, before you rush into this marriage, it is important to learn where your partner stands on the bigger issues of your life together. Do you have the same values? Sit him down and have a long talk about these and other issues that are of importance to you, you may discover that chances of a long lasting marriage could be slimmer; women are intuitively wired to pick up these things. Are you a learner?
For me, I got hooked up with a woman I never saw coming and a woman I will never let go. When I met my wife, she was not even a girlfriend or a lover. I liked her physically, because she had and still have curves that men would die for, but she was never my idea of a wife. She kept hanging around like other beautiful women around me; it was more or less a platonic relationship. All the time I didn't know I was under the microscope of the FBI and the CIA. She was to tell me all this after our marriage. Even though we dated for about 3yrs, in my wildest dream I never saw her coming till one morning after sleeping over, she woke me up, looked me straight into my sleepy eyes and demanded that I marry her in the next few days or she will leave me. Wow! Before then, no one ever threatened me like that, no one ever gave me ultimatums. Who born them? Me CharlyBoy? Little did I know that this woman for years has been doing research on me, this woman has seen me ‘finish’, figured out how to arrest and deal with me. When I was much younger, I had a very violent temper, I was obnoxious. And she had witnessed me a few times in my rage with other women. "Ain't you afraid that I will hurt or harm you" to that she answered, "you can never hurt or harm me because I will never give you a reason to" hummmmmm!!! Oh! See finish.
Bebe, it's easy to know what you are getting into. If in doubt, investigate, set exams for the guy. I believe women are emotionally smarter than men. You must know who you want to marry, it's important for your happiness. You don't deserve scrap especially if you are hardworking, intelligent, progressive and forward looking. Investigate him from all angles, don't be in a rush joor. You don't deserve that heartache because the way marriages are crashing, it's making me catch cold.
With the way things are going, very soon we will be throwing divorce parties and inviting friends and well-wishers to celebrate divorce anniversaries. They will choose asoebi, hire a big hall, with Dbanj as the entertainer and Julius Agu as the MC. Even questions like, "when are you getting your divorce" will be the buzz.
So if you know you can't handle the pressure, remain single. If the man is still under investigation, please take your time, don't rush. If you know that you are too horny to be faithful, biko remain single and have a ball. If you can't endure bad weather from time to time, stay in your father’s house joor. Never get married out of desperation or because other people are getting married. If you want a beautiful home, like mine, examine your choice of a life partner, there are a lot of gigolos out there preying on desperate babes like you. But show them say you pass them. No be you?